Object to the Adject...ives.

Social cues and interactions are some of the most interesting things to observe. Especially when people reveal their indelible density when socializing with others. It's so sad to think that social media and the age of technology have so far removed us as human beings from each other than when faced with actually having to interact, we cannot. Or at least cannot do so appropriately.

I was at the store the other day, and heard a man beckon to a girl. He said, "Hey little girl, excuse me." First of all, think about that statement, mister man. A majority of people would now expect you to remove K-Mart brand candy from your pocket and invite her into you Club Wagon. However, he didn't. But I was now on (amber) alert. The interaction was simply because she had dropped something, or an event of little importance. What struck me as odd, though, was that he used an arbitrary adjective to acknowledge her/get her attention. I realize that age probably had something to do with this interaction, but what if this "young" girl was actually a 19 year-old petite wonder. And here is this middle aged man, basically handing her a tea-set with his overarching utterance.

This use of adjectives is a lot of what I feel is wrong with the world today. And, frankly, I object. (See, Elle Woods, Blonde comma Legally.) When is it appropriate to assign a word you see as a fit descriptor of another person? Probably never, as I will now display in completely over the top examples.

"Hey, morbidly obese woman, your roll is on my arm."
"Hello, entirely too bleach blonde woman, you just sprayed self-tanner in my mouth."
"Ahoy, awkwardly smiling man, your smile is scaring me."

I realize that these seem pretty far fetched in relation to the exchange that I witnessed. But are they really any different? We as people need to acknowledge each other on an even playing field. Whether ageism, sexism, racism, homophobia, or otherwise, we must stop looking at the outward display of the person, and maybe take a step back and just see the person.

The Air I Breath

As the recent recipient of a Yankee Candle air freshener, I've been exposed to a new world of molecules in my room. I can't help but wonder, though, what is up in the realm of air fresheners?

First of all, we've gotta talk scents. Now, in my world, Clean Cotton, is pretty much the only acceptable choice. I like this scent because it's homey. Like, I was that kid who crawled into the dryer because it smelled good. The fact that I was the size of Thumbelina did not hurt matters, though, either. Can't you remember those soothing times spent as a child, or middle-aged person (oops) (not), grinding your germ ridden nose and oil ridden face into the lush scent of a warm, freshly washed towel? Clean Cotton it is. Also, when in this naturally occurring world are we surrounded by the scent of fruit? "Ah, yes, in Jamaica, the air smells like Coconut! It's so sweet. Our Beaches Resort vacation was an A+!! :D"

Now, I was really excited about the addition of this freshness factory to my room. It has three settings, of which I am guessing increase the amount of spritz freshness you get. I feel like Abercromie could stock these pieces with "Jake" or "Mandi" or whatever they're calling their trendy par-fumes nowadays, and put tens of thousands of clothing-spritzers out of work. Pretty hobos, anyone? Since I refuse to read INSTRUCTIONS for an AIR FRESHENER, I put it at the mid-setting. Safe route? NO. I believe I could feel the alveoli bursting within my lungs after walking into my room having let this thing do its thang for a couple hours. I am not certain, but I am confident. So now we're at the lowest setting and I've learned to keep my distance. It's not like I was cuddled up next to my Yankee Candle Air Freshener, begging it to play Dream Phone with me at 12:30AM, but it's roughly near my bed.

Air fresheners have really begun to boom in the past couple years. Lest we forget Febreeze brand's bold attempt at combining pop/country crossover sensation Shania Twain's new jams with some kind of freshening cartridge? My guess is you wanted to invest in neither. And for that, you're smart. But, man, Febreeze. That is a lucrative business. It's lucrative until, you spray so much concentrated, odor-blocking scent into the puke/piss/mildew ridden fabric, that you begin to equate the good scent as the bad one. "OMG, I'm gonna puke." "Awww. Sick! It smells just like Febreeze Spring Rainfall!!" "Did the cat pee on the carpet while we were gone?!" "Yes, can't you smell that awful Lavender Meadow coming from our closet!?"

The fact of the matter is, it's a nice change from my previously unscented room. I can't but help to think.. Is there a market for air fresheners that are advertised as, Clean AIR scent? Like, why do we need to scent our air? "Ohh, this air is just too much Nitrogen. I just need an extra burst of oxygen. Thank goodness for Yankee Candle's new O2 scent. Phew!!"